Noemie Turns 5, photo by Yauri
Noemie turned five.
Half a decade went by rather quickly ar my thoughts. In the beginning though, it went really really slow. At least it seemed that way as I adjusted to the painful-turned-exciting nursing she did every half hour; a totally brand new venture for me. And her. And here she is today; a kid.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Two doses of four ounces of castor oil (one dose in a grape fruit juice around 4pm and the second in Mc Donalds strawberry shake post-giving-up-cows milky which immediately turn frothy when oil was added), a midwife on vacation, an incomplete renovation, room and board at a bed and breakfast in an upscale brownstone in Bedstuy (no longer an oxymoron) booked 26 hours before the games began, a car in the shop, a mother in town overwhelmingly full of anxiety due to an already longe stay of a week and a half in Brooklyn and no baby yet … Shall I go on? No, I wont. Well. Maybe I will.
A gracious, kind, considerate, loving, patient, gem … protective to say the least … quite. A calm like nothing I have ever experienced in any other way. That was Phil. My husband who along with me amidst the chaos moaned silently while myself aloud. Holding my right hand as I trembled while in the water as it cooled every so 20 minutes. This guy who brought fruit to my mouth and a straw to my lips as I lay helpless yet empowered on a bed in the birthing center was Phil, my hubby, my night in shining armor. In Brooklyn. Waiting. Waiting was he for the baby to come, moaning was me. Exhausted but not ready to give up. Ready for life!
And then she came. The vale which covered her head was why my water was broken for 40 hours and had no place to go. Kristen my midwife broke through it pulling it over a head, a head covered in the most gorgeous of hair. Her face turned around and her eyebrows were all I saw. Thick. Full. Hairy! Still today reminding me of a wise old owl. Still beyond her years at just five.
My midwife being out of town allowed for Kristen to catch my Noemie. Actually she handed her to me while she was still inside and I, I pulled her out. Mom got it on tape. Kristen would later catch Leila Camil also whose birth was not caught on tape as it happened so quickly! As Leila Camil popped out after only an hour and a half of labor and floated to the top of the pool which lay on my living room floor Phil fumbled to find the record button the on camera. Those two pushes and nothing on film. Noemie, however, we got it all on tape and its a sight to share with the girls when they forget how much their mommy and daddy love them.
I have to say that to this day, the name Noemie, is still fitting. With everyday she is more beautiful, more spirited, funny, gracious, loving, and oh what a sweet heart. I look forward to us growing together, to seeing Leila Camil growing as well and the two of them growing together. I love them, and my birth experience speaks to the way I was able to help them enter this world. I pray I will be able to offer them an environment which allows for them to grow, feel empowered, love, and be free. That is how I felt in the birthing room the day my girls were born. Especially Noemie amongst the chaos which you never have to own. And with five years that have passed … the feeling is the same.
I am 30 now, nearly 31, and my baby is 5. In 25 years she will be my age … a young (baby to some, old head to others) woman whose reached yet another mile stone … but unlike 20 or 21 or 25 (that feeling of “yeah, Im here and what?”) this one is really really awkward. At least 30 has been awkward for me. Still adjusting, but loving it and praying that both our little girls will find their way by this time too. A few things in the last five years in particular have occurred in my life that today leave me speechless. Good things. Fantastic things, none of which I would change.
In 25 years when my baby turns 30 I pray that the path she is on has been nicely laid down for her. That she has had a few good experiences and several really great ones and that the bad ones were ones which did not cripple her but made her wiser. The mistakes she makes, I pray the lessons will teach her well. I pray that recovery is quick and easy, she moves forward and when she falls she gets up and keeps it going … not at all to wallow and to question her worth or self … but to simply reflect, take note, gather what she can and keep it moving. All for her sake of course. And humanity. Humanity suffers when a young person is scorn.
All that her father and I can provide for her now is what shapes her little world. To her though, it is a real big, huge, humungous world, and it is most important that as parents we recognize that.
Im cognoscente of what I am doing … how I live, experience life, feel the world around me and hold the world around me teaches her about who she is. Got to be on point. Considering myself to be fairly young now, all I can think about is that 25 years is not far away. Who she will be at 30 is just as important to me as who she is today. At 5. No pressure on her. No pressure on me. Its just that I know this wonderful curious, funny, striking, intelligent, and magical little girl will only get better if I as her mommy continue to do what I can to shape her world in a positive way while she blossoms into her own. As Phil my husband and her father continues to do the same. That we do this together. Many folks today loose sight of family and what that really means. Long ago, Phil and I set out to have a family and give our children a home and raise them and that we are doing. That we are trying and for our children, it is on their terms that we can do all we can do and by that I mean… it really is all about them and not us! I look forward to this journey and more years!
I love you Noemie Dalencour! Happy Birthday!